Why are We Talking about Free Birth Control?

Catchy title huh? yup. That was the point.

Don’t worry. I’m not going to rant about women having access to “free” birth control (well I might. but just briefly 😉 ). I want to address something that if implemented would make this whole discussion on “free” birth control void.

As a home schooled student, I did not have public school sex ed so I can not speak from first hand experience. However almost everyone I know went to public school and they had a variety of experiences. Everything from the teacher just pulling up google images of human genitals, while handing out condoms to actually explaining the biological act of sex and the names of the body parts  like a normal mature human being. Then the girls got the extra “time of the month” talk.

I was fortunate because in having my talk with my mom she actually explained what a period was and why I have one. I think my mom genuinely gave me all the information she had to give and thought I would need. However out of my normally 38 day cycle (yes 38 not 28) There were 33 days where I had no idea what was going on inside my body. Therefore I believed the lie that traditional birth control was my only option and that basically I could get pregnant at any time during my cycle.

I used birth control for about a year and it seriously was the worst thing ever. I’m not going to lecture about the pros and cons of hormonal birth control. I’m just mentioning that I was on it to establish that I have had to pay for my own birth control. It was 40 dollars a month and it sucked. Instead of being able to go out on a date regularly with my new husband, I was taking a pill that made me miserable, killed our sex life and ate up money.

Then I found it. I found a book that taught me about my body as a woman.

Ok in fairness I didn’t find it. One of my best friends was like “here this will solve your problems” as I was complaining to her about how terrible sex was and how depression was eating me. She saved me. ❤

I learned about fertility awareness and how my body worked as a woman. I learned for the first time that all of my female parts have names! I learned that my body has specific signs for when I am most likely to get pregnant. I learned how to pin point those specific days. What was really cool was that my husband noticed a difference in my willingness to be with him and it made our relationship better.

I’m not going to go into a lot of detail explaining the book I read. You can buy it here. I brought all that up to preface this statement.

If 12 year old girls were being taught how to be in charge of their fertility we would not be having a national argument about “free” birth control.

If mothers teach their daughters how their bodies work, we won’t need “free” birth control. If sex ed classes teach girls how their bodies work, we won’t need “free” birth control. Good Grief if our husbands/partners know how our bodies work we won’t need “free” birth control! If a 24 year old woman is out getting it on with a guy she met at the bar(or your married life is interrupted with some excitement), she can stop and think to herself: “Hmmm… Its day 22 of my cycle, my cervix is high, I haven’t had a temp shift and I have wet fluid. Better use a condom or maybe I will just pass tonight.” No hormonal pill needed, no implant in the uterus, no implant in the arm, no shot, no plan B pill and no murder (yes murder i.e. abortion). Just a womans own knowledge of her body and possibly a 50 cent condom.

That is true education. That is true empowerment. That is true FREE birth control.

(I know that BC is used to treat some medical conditions. That’s not what I am addressing here. I’m talking about BC only used for prevented pregnancy)

Ok here is my rant.

I’m not really into the whole “I’m a woman and I’m persecuted” thing. I work a mans job, I’m educated with a 4 year degree, I have 2 babies, I vote, I make more money then my husband and apparently now I can even join the boys scouts. (eyes roll). I don’t care if there isn’t a special breast feeding room for me to pump milk (yes I have pumped milk in a bathroom. For MONTHS) or an employer doesn’t want to subsidize my birth control. That’s fine with me. I will do it myself.

Let me tell you, women have lost their minds about the roll back of birth control coverage from health insurance.(That’s not even entirely accurate. Employers don’t have to pay extra for you to have coverage for free birth control when they are paying for your health insurance…)  I think my favorite headline I saw was something like “it just got more expensive to be a woman”… No. Just no. lol

It did not get more expensive for me to be a women. Any woman not on birth control is just fine. Therefore it got more expensive to be on birth control. (And it only got more expensive for some women to be on birth control!) It did not get more expensive to be a woman. A little logic lesson there. All the more reason to know your body and use that to gauge your sex life. That way truly no one else is intervening with your reproductive choices. If you know your body, no one is capable of controlling what you do with it.

It is not empowering to ask for special treatment because of being a woman. It is empowering to have a “disadvantage” and rise above it on your own. Especially in a way that doesn’t cost you in the long run and betters your understanding of your body. You want “free” BC? Take control of your body and learn how it functions.

Obviously I don’t have all the answers and anyone can say “what about this… or that…”And some of those this and that’s might be valid. I just think we as women could save or selves a lot of money and headache if we take control and teach our selves.









Open Mom Diary #2

To my Baby who does not sleep,

I am sitting on the couch contemplating yet another cup of coffee (Gods gift to mothers) to get me through another day. I have just put you back to sleep for the 3rd time for the same 40 min nap. I sang to you the first time, I patted your cute little butt to sleep the second, and I finally wrapped you snug and tight in the Moby when I couldn’t listen to your screaming any longer. I hugged you, kissed you and told you it would be alright as I laid you back down to sleep in your bed. I expect you will awaken soon.

After fighting with you to sleep for 2 hours I will get you up and we will go on with our day. I will wear you in the Moby for the rest of the day to keep your fuss at bay, all while cooking dinner, playing with, talking to and disciplining your big brother. You will finally leave the Moby for dinner and a bath.  We will get pjs on, read stories, say prayers and lay down for sleep. You will lay down in your crib and put yourself to sleep at 8pm along with your brother. And after about an hour and a half, give or take, it will begin…

It varies night  to night. You might only wake up twice for an hour and a half each time. You might wake up 6 times for 15 min each. I will have to do something different every time you wake up to put you back to sleep. I will hold you, I will rock you, I will let you fuss, I will pace the hall with you, I will let you scream until I cant stand it, I will sing to you, I will give you a pacifier and sometimes we will just stand in the living room, once again in the Moby and watch HGTV. You will finally go back to sleep at 4:30am. I will go back into my room only to look at the clock and be reminded that my day starts in 90 minutes.

I have read the blogs and skimmed the books on all that I am doing wrong. I have talked to the Dr. who says just keep trying and be consistent. Consistent with what? Letting you scream?

You have no pattern of waking for me to follow. You have no particular comfort that puts you back to sleep so there is no sleep prop to take away. Its always different and sometimes you do just fine on your own getting back to sleep. Supposedly you shouldn’t still be eating at night, but sometimes I believe you truly are hungry… I just have no way of knowing…

I don’t know how to help you. I don’t know how to help you sleep.

I thought I was super mom with your brother. He was sleep trained by 4 months old. He slept through the night and went right to sleep on his own every night at 7pm. I thought that this was some how because of me. I would look at other moms and judge them for struggling with getting their babies to sleep.

Then I had you.

I must confess to you my sweet baby, I struggle with being angry at you. Every time I hear you cry out in the night, everything in me just wants to yell “go back to sleep!” But I don’t. I can’t. It would be wrong because I am your mother.

Do you see the sign on your door? The one with all the pretty colors, shapes and cursive lettering? That is not there to decorate your door. It’s there for me. It’s there so when I walk into your room at 2:37 am, I pick you up gently and tell you I love you. It’s to remind me that you will not be a baby forever. You will not sleep in a crib forever. Soon you will be able to tell me whats wrong. Soon I will be able to tell you to stay in your bed and stop screaming. Soon you will not want me to snuggle you in the middle of the night. Soon you will sleep through the night on your own. Soon you will not remember all the sleepless nights I spent in the rocking chair holding you close and singing “It is well with my Soul”.

The sign on your door reminds me to love you (and your big brother) at all stages of your life no matter how hard they are for me. It is there to remind me that the next time I blink you will be gone. It is there to remind me that I want you to remember your mother as being loving and kind.

So… My dear sweet baby… I will hold you. I will hold you until you are ready to let go.

I hear you stirring and starting to fuss… I’m coming hugabug.

Love Mommy ❤